One of the hardest things to adjust to after divorce is visitations. I was used to having my child all of the time, and I still remember the first weekend away from her. We both cried. She didn’t understand why she had to go, but I didn’t go with her. That has been years ago, but I still remember it as if it were yesterday.
So, I have been fairly silent the past few days because I have been so busy between work and my child’s activities. We played cards for a couple of hours each night for the past three days. We’ve watched movies. We talked. I’ve heard her laugh. I’ve watched her practice cheer and tumbling. I watch her eyes light up when she gets closer to mastering a skill. I’ve watched up get up in front of a crowd and talk with confidence. I’ve watched her lose with grace. I’ve also seen the upset and heartbreak of disappointment. It has been a wonderful past few days. I have enjoyed every minute of it.
But that’s something I really hate about being divorced – missing my child’s life. Missing these awesome moments while she is at her dad’s house. She is growing up so fast and I miss key moments. It is hard, but I always look forward to when she comes back home and tells me about what I missed. I swallow my hurt and I listen. I know it is going to include ex – obviously – his girlfriend, and her children, but I continue to listen and love every minute of it. Just because I am not there, my child is still sharing her life with me.