It’s been about a month since I found out the guy I was seeing – and in love with – was living a double life. I’m sure he has moved on to another victim. I’m still single. I got back on the dating sites right away after I found out about him being a serial cheater. I refused to let one asshole ruin my search for finding the one. However, as the days and weeks passed, I am having more of a negative outlook. I don’t have the motivation to try to seek out possible suitors. I delete messages without viewing profiles because they don’t fit in the age range I’m wanting. Or their spelling and/or grammar are such a turn off. Or, and this is a major one – and a very common one – they gross me out with messages like “let daddy take care of you” or “looking for a good time. text me.”
I’ve tried chatting with four guys and one girl since the serial cheater. The first guy, we’d chatted off and on for several – and I mean SEVERAL – months before the serial cheater was even in the picture. All of a sudden, he is demanding pictures. When I refused, he blocked me. The next guy, way too young for me. His immaturity showed. He really just wanted to hook up with an older woman. The third guy, first off used an older picture of himself – very misleading! – then turns out he was still married. The fourth guy, I just wasn’t feeling it. He texted me every morning – “good morning” or “how was your night?” But then was silent most of the day, then I received the “how was your day?” text. He didn’t try to get to know me. And, honestly, I couldn’t even remember his name. Even though I have been attracted to girls since middle school I have never acted on it. I confessed about having a crush on a friend of mine in high school, and she completely freaked. She stopped talking to me. So, I decided to just stick with guys. So, this one girl online contacted me first. I figured it would be weird or awkward chatting with another female with the interest of dating and being intimate. Surprisingly, it wasn’t. It was very natural. We chatted. We flirted. Went well for about a week and a half, then I figured she lost interest. I’d sent a message; she’d read it. No reply. Well, I’m not going to chase or beg. So, I deleted her.
I don’t want to throw in the towel. I want to date, but I am sick of going through all of the creeps day in and day out. Isn’t time for me to find a decent person?!? Might not be my soulmate, but come on a date isn’t too much to ask for – or is it?
Most of the time, I don’t mind being single. But weekends like this – my daughter is staying all weekend with a friend – I want to have a date. I want to chat. So, I scroll through hundreds of online profiles and can’t find anyone I want to try to chat with because I just think to myself: are they married? what are they hiding?