One tough lesson of divorce is acceptance. Acceptance of your marriage being over. Acceptance of not being with your ex for the rest of your life. Acceptance of having to date as an adult. Acceptance of a new life you never actually planned for. Acceptance of new people being around your children.
There is also the fact that my daughter wants to be accepted. She continues to try to stay involved when with her dad, his girlfriend, and her kids.
I knew she wanted her dad to accept her. Until yesterday, I didn’t realize how much she wanted acceptance from girlfriend, too.
Saturday, ex took all of them out of state – girlfriend actually went too. I got blamed for the fact that they could not spend the night up there, which I’m used to getting blamed for a lot since I’m “the crazy ex-wife.” Funny thing is, I actually thought they were going to spend the night up there. I was trying to accept the fact that my daughter would be sharing a hotel room with ex and girlfriend in the same bed.
Yesterday, my daughter was showing me pictures and telling me about her trip. She had fun, but then would mention ex was not around. He would disappear to be with girlfriend.
Then out of the blue, my daughter says girlfriend doesn’t have a picture of my daughter in her office. She said, girlfriend has pictures of her kids and of ex, but not my daughter.
I understand my daughter is not girlfriend’s daughter. But I try to think about my daughter’s point of view. I completely understand the hurt. Ex and girlfriend have been on again and off again for three years. Ex has pictures of her kids hanging up in his house, and on his phone.
I don’t think I should address the situation with ex. I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want it to seem like I am tossing my daughter to the side and saying another woman can step into my place. But, I want my daughter to be happy and to be cared for.
I know if I was with someone for three years, you better believe his kids would be my kids. I would have pictures of them. I would brag about them. I would love them.
So, does girlfriend not like my daughter? Is she afraid of what would happen if she accepts my daughter?