Memories

I posted earlier that my ex is officially moving in with girlfriend. Well, ex and my daughter started packing and going through things at his house. I still had belongings there.

Yes, I know. We’re divorced. He is in a relationship. My stuff should not be at his house.

The items were things like collectables, pictures, clothes that I had forgotten about.

All of these things were still there because 1. my house was so much smaller than – “our” house – his house, 2. he had me believing years ago that we would get back together – we were still doing family activities, sleeping together, he was even telling me that he loved me on a daily basis.

Ex brought over several trash bags and boxes full of my belongings. (I know there is still more at his house) I went through everything.

There were several pictures of us – when we first started dating, our engagement announcement, our wedding day. Of course, all of them were kept for my daughter. She and I looked through all of these pictures – she asked names, events, and dates so she could label each photo.

It was interesting, I could remember all these dates – when we started dating, got engaged, wedding date – with ease. I could tell her stories about each photo with feeling sad or angry.

I know I am slowly healing. I know it is taking a lot of time, and I still have a lot more healing to do.

I’ve read it takes one year for every three years of the relationship to heal and be ready to move on. Don’t know if it is true for everyone. Nor do I know if that amount of time changes if the relationship included emotional abuse.

I was with ex for 15 years. So, ideally five years of healing… Well, even though I have have been divorced for five years, I was still with ex after the divorce for two more years. I’ve been done with him for three years. Ex and girlfriend have been together off and on for four years. That is another thing that makes me wonder if healing will take longer – him being with someone else? him choosing someone else?

I will continue to take it one day at a time.

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