Military Family Weekend

Ex told me this weekend is Family Weekend on the base. Honestly, I am surprised he did not ask to take our daughter for the entire weekend. (I don’t know if he is bringing girlfriend or any of her kids).

I was talking to a friend yesterday – it was a HORRIBLE day, I needed to vent and talk to someone about life. It came up about family weekend. My friend asked what happens during family weekend.

I paused for a moment.

I honestly do not have a clue!

I was with ex for 15 years, and I never once was invited to family weekend. What does that say about our marriage or how ex felt about me?

He has taken girlfriend to family weekend. He has taken our daughter, too.

Apparently, the year our daughter went with girlfriend, she said girlfriend complained the entire time.

So, again why her, but never me? If she complains the whole time then why bother bringing her?

I always assumed the cheating was his form of midlife crisis. Now, I really wonder if he ever did love me. Was he embarrassed of me? Ashamed?

It’s not like I got pregnant right away and he was “forced” to marry me. It’s not like he was not aware of my mental struggles of anxiety, depression, self-injury, and eating disorders. It’s not like he did not realize that I never dress up or wear make-up. It’s not like he did not know me – we lived together for almost two years before we got married.

So, I wonder what it was…

I know I will never get the answer. (Actually, I may not want the answer) But I still wonder…

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