Patience is a Virtue

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I am getting tired of people’s lack of patience… yeah, I’m losing my patience for others’ lack of patience – ironic.

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Used to – when I first started online dating about two-and-a-half years ago – I would refresh the website over and over. I would have trouble waiting for someone to reply to my message. I would wait in pure agony as the seconds slowly ticked by… turning into minutes… into hours… and sometimes into days before I got a reply back. My anxiety made the waiting even worse. My desperation made it unbearable.

Yes, I said my desperation. I was desperate. I was desperate to prove there was nothing wrong with me. I was desperate to prove men wanted me, found me interesting, and even found me attractive. I was desperate to get over my ex.

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I have gotten over a lot during these past couple of years. And though I want a relationship, I don’t want to settle. I am not desperate anymore. Either like me or don’t like me. I don’t care.

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The guy I’ve been chatting with for a few days now, still nothing to really write about. He messages me. I reply. Nothing exciting. He still talks about movies, music, food. Yesterday, he talked about drinking. (I don’t drink – and that sentence runs several guys off. ha-ha)

I can tell there’s no spark. Or at least, no spark from my end. I don’t look forward to him texting. I am not excited to hear from him. I do not get butterflies in my stomach waiting to hear from him or while reading his messages.

I’m not interested. And, honestly, I’m not sure why…

Maybe I should just tell him I am not interested. Maybe I should ghost. Maybe he is just wanting a friend to chat with.

I don’t know.

Had another guy message me. I don’t check those sites often. Sometimes I do forget or my phone will not load them correctly; so, I do not get to check them even if I wanted to.

He messaged him. I responded.

Then, I got busy. I forgot. I turned off my phone to let it charge for the evening. I didn’t give online dating a second thought.

Apparently, he messaged me right after I replied – he asked tons of questions in a single message: What music do I like? What kind of movies do I like? What do I do for a living? (There might have been another question or two… don’t know, don’t remember, nor do I care)

Right after that lengthy message, he quickly replies: k, bye.

Really? First off, anyone that “k”s me, I’m done. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. My ex “k”s me and it DRIVES ME INSANE

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Secondly, the lack of patience is very unattractive (now I know why I was unable to find a guy years ago during my desperation phase…. If anyone of those guys stumble onto this blog, I’m sorry for being annoying ha-ha).

I didn’t reply, true… BUT: What if I was busy? What if I have a baby and the baby was upset? What if my phone died? What if…

Him responding “k, bye” shows he was butt-hurt. I know.

Normally, I would have just deleted his impatient messages and blocked his ass.

Instead, I decided to respond: wow, at least you’re patient.

Okay, yes, I should have just deleted his message and went on with my life. Oh well, I didn’t. Occasionally, you have to entertain yourself with online dating – might be why I’m still chatting with the other guy, just to kill some time here or there.

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Another person messaged me yesterday – not online dating related, a real person that I know – and I did not respond right away. This person sent a second message. And then sent a message through my Facebook messenger.

My phone was turned off… I did not receive them until I turned my phone back on.

It wasn’t anything major. It wasn’t an emergency.

Think this person has anxiety and does not want to admit it…

But, the lack of patience is making me grow more and more impatient.

 

2 thoughts on “Patience is a Virtue

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