Getting Tired of Being the Bigger Person

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So, ex and I have been divorced for five years. We have been completely finished for three years. I have forced myself to stop being his secretary, making excuses for him, defending his behavior, and honestly stop loving him.

We have one child, who is very busy. I take pictures of her schedule and send them to ex. I typically don’t remind him again after I send the schedule once, but if he asks I usually do answer about dates/times.

Well, Thursday, ex picked our daughter up from school. Apparently she gave him a new schedule for games and practices. They seen me Thursday night, not a word about it. Ex seen me Friday night, not a word. It wasn’t until yesterday I asked my daughter when her next practice was.

She said “dad has the schedule.”

When did he get it?


Do you still have it?

No, dad left it at girlfriend’s house.


So, now I’m annoyed. She should have waited to give me the schedule. He should grow the hell up and coparent with me.

I send ex a text:

me: not cool not sending me the game schedule. I always send you pictures of the schedules.

ex: I gave the schedule back to her. I know I gave it back to her.


I’m seriously not getting into this with him. He is the adult and he is blaming our child. To make it worse, he did take a picture of the schedule and has it on his phone, but yet still would not send it to me. (I know because he sent the picture to our daughter, but not to me).

I finally get a schedule by contacting other moms.

But I am so mad at ex. He is so childish, selfish, and a complete asshole. I want to treat him how he treats me. I want to “forget” to send schedules. I want to avoid contacting him, but I don’t want to make our daughter be the messager. I’m tired of being the bigger person. I am tired of expecting him to treat me with respect and like a person.

I could be a horrible ex wife. I could make him miserable. But, what would that accomplish? What message would that send to my daughter? Besides, my personality and character would not allow me to continue to behave like that; I would start to feel guilty and ashamed of myself.

I can’t get him to get his head out of his own ass to see how he is behaving, and I hate that. I hate that the man I spent so much of my life with, have a child with, and is bound to each other for the rest of this life behaves the way he does; treats me the way he does; and sets that type of example for our daughter.


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