So, yesterday was a very, very rough day. I think the fact that ex is now engaged finally absorbed in. I cried a bit. I pretty much ate my feelings, and probably everything else around. I think I gained 50lbs yesterday, alone. I don’t know why I needed to eat like that. I just needed to numb the feelings and thoughts about ex. So, mindless eating and then the discomfort of eating so much gave me the physical pain instead of the emotional pain. I’m stressed of what the future is going to bring. A friend asked if girlfriend – Okay, I know they are now “engaged” so she is not “girlfriend” but you know what, I’m sticking with calling her girlfriend – would take over finances and military benefits. Man, I hope not. I’m afraid my daughter is going to get the short end of the stick in this situation.
Luckily, there were a few good things to focus on. My daughter brought home progress reports. Her lowest grade is a 95%. It’s funny, at the beginning of the school year, she was so worried about taking AP courses – in both of her AP courses she has over a 100%. Last night, she had a Beta Club ceremony where she got welcomed into the organization. That is a major accomplishment. I was so proud of her. Me, being a mom and a photographer, took several photographs. Also me, being me, I decided to share that moment with ex. I sent him two pictures, since he is out of state again. One was of our daughter with her certificate and the other was of the entire group. He responded very quickly, “that’s cool.” Stupidly, I expected him to be more excited – Awesome! Tell her great job! – or to even send her a message, or better yet call her, to tell her congratulations.