Silent

When I started this blog, it was supposed to be my outlet to help me work through my anxiety and depression. It was a chance to get the negative thoughts out of my head.

For a while, it seemed to be working.

Here lately it’s different. I can’t find the words to type. I can’t find the motivation to log onto the site.

I feel like things are just getting worse. My hours this month have been complete shit. So, my paycheck might not cover my bills. But, I seriously feel like I am working all of the time! I feel like I am always on the move. I am exhausted.

Online dating has been a complete joke. I haven’t found anyone worth my time.

My ex is making me feel awkward. He has called me on the phone twice this month. Both times it was awkward. It was like he wanted to talk, and would keep talking. I just wanted to end the conversation.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m making too much out of nothing.

Maybe I’m being over sensitive. Stress. Exhaustion. Grief. I’m sure they are all taking their toll.

I’m still crying about dad’s death. Not every day, but some days it hits me like a ton of bricks.

There for a while, mom and I were chatting pretty much daily. That has stopped this month. I have tried calling twice, both times she was busy and with someone. She never tried calling me back.

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