Before dad’s death, I rarely talked to my mom. After dad was killed, I did call mom everyday. Then started to call every couple of days. Recently, its been about once a week. I figured dad would want me to call and check on her.
However, ever since mom told me she has been STILL talking to ex about me behind my back I am struggling to decide what I should do.
Do I keep calling? When I do call, do I say as little as possible? Do I stop calling?
Life After Divorce 
Your struggle is real and I don’t envy you. I’m sorry this is happening. You’ve been good to call your mom, especially after your dad’s death. I don’t understand why she would be talking about you behind your back with your ex. But if that’s not comfortable for you, you can speak up and tell her. I don’t know the family dynamics, but you should do what’s right for you.
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Honestly, I have spoken up. I have told her I do not like when she talks to ex about me or about my and ex’s issues. She told me that she will talk to whoever she wants about whatever she wants. So, for the most part I just don’t open up to my mom. I guess I let my guard down and said more than I wanted to. If I don’t tell ex, I don’t feel anyone else should tell him. Even though it is nothing major, but still, it is my life and my business. It has nothing to do with our daughter, so therefore, it is NONE of ex’s business.
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I’m in absolute agreement with you. Ex should only know what you tell him b/c you want/need him to know. I’m sad that your Mom has crossed that boundary. I would not tell her too much either. That way she can’t blab to ex.
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