Death and Divorce

I have realized something, death and divorce are so similar. They both make people so nervous and unsure of how to react and respond to someone going through the situation. The person living in the situation is so lost and confused.

Now, I know there are some people that want divorce.

I filed for my divorce – honestly only because if I didn’t it wouldn’t have ever been filed. I’m not joking. I ran back to ex. I tried to convince him to give “us” another chance. I slipped into a major depression so deep that I truly believed suicide was my only way out.

I hear a lot of people saying “congratulations” to someone who recently got divorced. This reminds me of the whole situation of saying “I’m sorry” to someone at a funeral. We really don’t know what else to say.

Even if the person wanted the divorce, maybe they do not see anything to be celebrating. At the time, I seen the “death” of my marriage, my family. I failed as a wife. I failed as a mother. I failed as a person. I did not want to celebrate anything.

Just like after my dad was killed, I was so tired of hearing people say “I’m sorry.”

However, how I have handled myself in both situations has really made a big difference. After my divorce, I was depressed and suicidal. I kept it a secret that I was still sleeping with my ex-husband. I felt cheap and worthless. I did not seek any help. I seriously did not believe I deserved any help. With my dad’s death, I allowed myself to cry in front of others. I allowed myself to hug and be comforted by a stranger. I found others living in a similar situation as myself. I used my blog to write out my feelings. I went to the doctor to get medication for my depression.

 

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