Father’s Day

First off, happy father’s day to all my followers that are fathers.

I seen a post online the other day about watching out because all the single mother’s were going to try to claim today. It included a heated debate. Some believed that if you are not male then this holiday has nothing to do with you. Some believed that if they play the role of mother and father, then they have the right to celebrate this day. Others brought up the issue of same sex couples. However, my favorite response was about what does it matter how others celebrate today. It is not hurting you so leave them be.

I decided for this post to make it very positive. I read about so many couples, and their hate for each other,and the impact it has on their ability to co-parent. Now, do not think that my ex and I are picture perfect co-parents – we’re not, yet. We are able to be civil. We co-parent. But we still have a ways to go before it is perfect.

I want to focus on the positives of my ex-husband for today. First, we made an amazing child. She is beautiful, intelligent, and has a big heart. He is able to provide for his child financially. He provides child support. He helps buy school clothes. He helps with expenses for her to do multiple sports throughout the year. He spends money on her just because. I know that sounds negative, and I used to view it as a negative. It was a slap in the face that I could not get her a toy or a little something extra because money is always so tight. But ex can afford it and then he would show off in front of me. How do I view it now? He is spending money on HIS child. Let him. I don’t mind the Disneyland co-parent. He provides a roof over her head. When she goes to him for his visitation I know that she does have a place to sleep – whether it is at his house or at girlfriend’s house. He does not do drugs. He has never walked away. Even though he was not faithful to me, he has never disappeared from her life. Now, I have had to remind him to call or to spend time with her, but he has always be around. For the most part, we can communicate.

I started out my morning by messaging my father and my ex-husband. I am looking forward to spending the day with my child since ex is currently deployed. Figured we will catch a movie, have some lunch, and try to figure out what to get ex for Father’s Day.

Father’s Day…. What to buy?

Happy-fathers-day-quotes-to-dad

Father’s Day is approaching. My ex-husband is in the picture. Our decree states he gets our child on his birthday and Father’s Day of every year – naturally, I get our child on my birthday and Mother’s Day of every year.

This year, will be a little different. My ex-husband is currently deployed. I still plan on giving my child some money so my child can buy ex-husband a Father’s Day card/gift. This is something I do every year. I do it for Christmas, ex’s birthday, and Father’s Day. Why? Because our child does not have money. They do not have an income, or an allowance.

I remember a few years ago, ex complaining that I should not buy him gifts – he has a girlfriend. I told him the gifts are from our child, not me. Just because we are divorced, I still have to be a positive role model for my child.

Now, I know there are some deadbeat dads out there. That is a different story, obviously. If the father is in the picture, and treats the children well. Gladly give the children money to buy a small gift. Let dad have the children for the day. You enjoy your “me” time.

I’ve seen posts on social media about how Father’s Day items all say “World’s Greatest Dad” and the woman would be so disgusted and refuse to buy anything. Here is a hard lesson in divorce, you have to put your personal feelings – all the anger, hurt, sadness – to the side. You have to realize that your children probably do view that man as the “World’s Greatest Dad.”

Even if he is not the greatest dad, do not say anything negative about him in front of the children. Let them enjoy being a child. Do not bring them into adult issues. Besides, children are smart. They will pay attention and see how much effort both parents are putting in.