First off, I want to thank each of you for reading my blog. I was surprised to see 50 people follow me now. I really want to thank those who comment on my posts, too (Think I am caught up on reading and responding to comments).
When I started this blog I really did not expect anyone to show any interest in my journey. I thought of it more as my online journal – something for me to read and reflect on for better self healing and self growth. I made up a name, and found some clip art so I could freely talk about my life. I could talk about and reflect over some risque and really tough issues – depression, anxiety, sex, divorce, self-injury, eating disorders, online dating, co-parenting, suicide. These are thoughts, feelings, and experiences that most people in my life do not even know about.
My parents and my closest friends, for example, do not know I self-injured starting when I was 9. They do not know I was raped at 16. They do not know I pulled a knife on a family friend when I was 17 because this grown man tried to force himself on me. They do not know about my failed suicide attempts. They do not know about the depression that my divorce caused.
My ex-husband knows a lot about me, all of the previously mentioned. He was my best friend. There was one thing I could never tell him… the day of our wedding, I almost left him at the alter. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was making a mistake. I would have ran, but my dad was standing right there waiting to walk me down the aisle. I stayed. I got married. After the ceremony, I found a room where no one was and I fell to the floor and cried so hard that I could not speak. My photographer and groom found me. The photographer told him many brides get emotional. I didn’t say anything.
So, I use this blog as a safe outlet. I can write and cry, if needed. I can relive situations and reflect. So, again, thank you for reading and commenting. It is wonderful support.
I’ve mentioned kindness rocks in my previous posts. For those who are not familiar with the idea: Kindness rocks are where you decorate a rock (I’ve seen painted, temporary tattoos, vinyl, even stickers). You place the rock in a location for a random stranger to find. It is supposed to bring a smile and some happiness to someone. After they find the rock they can either hide that rock for someone else to find, or they can keep it and decorate another rock to hide. The idea is to always have rocks out there for someone to find.
I got into kindness rocks a year ago. It gave my daughter and I something to do, and it is fairly cheap (Just have to find rocks, and buy what ever decorations you want to use. Then the cost of gas to drive around).
My daughter has always loved rocks. In preschool, she would find a pretty rock on the playground and put it in her pocket to bring home. Some days I would forget to check her pockets then I would find rocks in my washer and/or dryer. A few years ago, I took her to a location where we dug for crystals. We found some big, gorgeous crystals. Then these painted rocks were just more to add to her collection.
Most of the time when I paint, I have to paint two. One is for her to keep and one is for her to hide. I used to not do it like that, but she was so broken-hearted having to give up rocks that she really liked that I had painted. She knew it made someone else happy, but she still wanted that same feeling. I understand. So, I paint for her and for us to hide. Yesterday, I painted two for her. 1. Ghostface from the move Scream. 2. A cheerleading themed rock. She loved them!! I didn’t paint any additional ones – we currently have about 20 that need to be hidden. It’s rained for about a week, plus we had a tornado (we are safe. no damage). So, we will hide them sometime in the future.
I found a group online that does Kindness Rocks Pals – kind of like a pen pal, but instead of sending letters you send a kindness rock. I think this will be a wonderful thing for us. There is a place to ask for rocks as a gift (anniversary, birthday, graduation, support during a difficult time). I put in two requests. 1. For my dad – or family in general – his father is getting worse. It is only a matter of time. My dad lost his mother to cancer about 27 years ago. Now, his father is slowly losing his battle to cancer. 2. For my daughter’s 13th birthday. **If any rocks come to us as gifts, I will post pictures or reactions**
Where I live there is a group that does the kindness rocks. However, there is some negativity amongst this group. Often certain people will hide rocks – and I mean “HIDE” rocks in locations that no one will ever be able to find. Then they get angry and post their anger when the rocks are “found” and no one ever posts about finding the rocks.
Yes, I like the idea of making some rocks harder to find. It is fun to have this game of hide and seek with rocks. Almost a challenging game of I Spy. You have a picture – limited detail in the picture usually – of a location and you have to use your memory, observation skills, and pure dumb luck to find these rocks. But it’s fun. My daughter will take my phone and screen shot some of these pictures. It might be weeks later and we’ll drive by and be like that’s where that one rock was hidden! Sometimes it is still there, sometimes it’s not.
However, the posts about people not posting that they found the rock is uncalled for. Yes, there have been many rocks that my daughter and I have painted (I try to take a picture of EVERY rock we paint before we hide it) and we never see anything about it again. I would like to know the rocks found a good home, brought a smile to someone, shared some kindness. I would like to know if they loved the rock so much that they had to keep it, or if they decided to hide it for someone else. But, that’s not what is important. I did something fun and creative, and nice with my daughter. She is about to be a teenager. I want every opportunity I get to do something fun with her, and to teach her to think about others.
**If anyone does kindness rocks, feel free to post any tips/tricks you use for your rocks**